It is a sorting process.
One by one you let go of things that are gone
And you mourn for them
One by one you take hold of the things that have become a part of
who you are and build again'
- Rachel Naomi Remen
Bereavement counselling provides a supportive and safe space where you'll be listened to, can express your feelings (whatever they might be) and talk freely about your loss. Therapy gives you room to reflect, remember and mourn.
There's no 'right' or 'wrong' way to grieve or find your way after a death - how you do this will be unique to you. It'll be influenced and shaped by many different things, for example - your personality and life history, your particular relationship with the person who died, your experiences and memories of them, the way in which they died and so on.
What I'll do is encourage you to talk and also to pause and pay attention to your grief and how it manifests; to reflect on what the loss means to you and your life now. I'll tailor how I work in response to your changing needs, offering support as you navigate your way through these difficult waters.
Working at a pace that's right for you, I'll ask you to tell the story of this loss, talk about your shared history with the person who died, express and explore your feelings about their death and to think about how losing them may have changed you.
Through this process of talking together and sifting through your memories, reflections and feelings, you can begin to find calm and make sense of things, discover meaning and gather yourself together again. This helps you to re-connect with your strengths, regain your balance and find your best path ahead.
It may be that a bereavement which occurred years ago is still affecting your life now, in this situation therapy offers a place to talk about and grieve an old loss when family members or friends may not wish or be able to remember with you. Some traumatic deaths, for example a suicide, may be difficult to talk about with family or friends and here therapy offers a compassionate, non-judgmental place where you will be listened to, encouraged to talk about your loss and can grieve and mourn.
My training & experience
I have over five years clinical experience as a bereavement counsellor in an NHS Hospice where I received additional training in this field. I'm particularly skilled and attuned to this work and recognise and respect that each person grieves in their own way and in their own time.
My experience includes working with people who have suffered traumatic bereavements such as a suicide, death of a child, sudden death or accident. I've also worked with those who are really struggling after a loss, sometimes years later, and who may feel isolated and 'stuck' in their grief, unable to move on.
'You'll get over it : the rage of bereavement' by Virginia Ironside
'Staring at the sun' by Irvin Yalom
'The Year of Magical Thinking' by Joan Didion
'Silent Grief - Living in the wake of suicide' by Christopher Lukas and Henry M Seiden
Survivors of bereavement by suicide (SOBS)
Support after suicide
Child bereavement UK